The pursuit of a peaceful and harmonious life often leads individuals to question whether it requires material wealth or tranquillity. Achieving peace and harmonious life is a universal wish for many who hope to create stronger family relationships. While peace is vital, many struggle to achieve it, as personal conflicts and ego often disrupt harmony within families. Family dynamics are complex and need balance, communication, and commitment to foster unity. Strain can arise from unrealistic expectations and psychological issues, resulting in isolated and dysfunctional relationships. Understanding and respecting personal space, alongside mutual care, are essential for nurturing relationships. Ultimately, fostering an environment of love and respect can significantly enhance the quality of life and familial bonds.
What is needed to lead a peaceful life? Is it money and luxury? A quiet and sedentary routine, or is it a peaceful and harmonious life? The question is clichéd and awfully routine, but people still ask it.
Peace is essential
A person’s life needs peace. More than any material thing, it is of utmost importance, but do people have it? It is the question. Let us delve deeper to seek an answer.
(1) Do people have peace?
A perfect answer is probably difficult, if not impossible. Humans are a blend of good and bad. Adjusting to one another is essential for peace and a harmonious life. Yet, it is often an unattainable goal. Cry and clamour, commotion and acrimonious verbal fight are common in households and surroundings. People are seen as entangled, which is not difficult to understand. Clashes, insensible and imposing behaviour are but a few reasons.
(2) Collision is natural
A collision is a natural phenomenon. In nature, atoms move and collide. The collision sometimes emits a large amount of energy and sometimes absorbs it. When compared to life, it is clear that the collision of thoughts is like the collision of behaviour. It, too, can cause a loud commotion. Sometimes, it even turns violent.
Family
Family is the fundamental unit of society. Its structures are not rigid in the animal kingdom. Parental care, though, is seen in more advanced groups of animals. The group of animals which tops all is Mammals. They have more organised family systems. Yet, humans have developed and evolved a complex and robust framework for family life. Family plays a vital role, with each member connected by love, affection, care, and mutual respect. In its turn, it offers protection and gives peace and a harmonious life. (Marriage dot com)
(a) Self-regulatory Power
Differences are obvious. There is a possibility that the differences will become big and lead to an unpalatable situation. To overcome anarchy, the mechanism has a self-governing power. It is the responsibility of elder members to keep a harmonious balance where every member feels secure and protected. It is an ideal situation which every human longs for. Humans have superior brain capacity and cognitive abilities. They show articulate speech and coherent behaviour. These qualities make a family organised and strong. It is in sharp contrast to what is seen in other animal groups, especially higher ones. Despite having “family”, they are detached and have less intense feelings.
(b) Families are splitting
Despite having such a strong institution, why is it that splitting and dispersal are seen in families? What are the reasons why nuptial relations are getting strained to the breaking point? To get an answer, a peek into past would be needed.
(a) Peek in the Past
Let us imagine a time thousands of years back. Humans had arrived, but they were not like today’s sapiens. After leading a fairly long life as hunter-gatherers who sustained on hunting and gleaning food, they started a settled life. Lone life started giving way to community life. Gradually, they started to regularise their life and framed rules for an organised life. The increasing want and sense of possessiveness were becoming strong. They formalised the marriage institution.
(b) Rules were made
To keep bonded, they might have tried to enforce certain norms so that individual members don’t get away. Eventually, the marriage institution was mooted. As they progressed further in their journey, the filial bonds were linked with ethics and morality. Marriage was, though, a contract, but sacrosanct and pious. It was considered to be ordained by God in heaven.
marriage
Marriage is considered essential to start a family life. It is regarded as a contract in some groups or sects. Yet, others give it utmost importance. They attach a spiritual connection to it. For them, it is an eternal bond of seven rebirths. Life is fleeting by nature. The wish to continue forever created a system supported by myths and Parables. Marriage legalises a relationship, disowns fornication. It helped in casting an unseen but staunch feeling of togetherness.
The feeling of togetherness is essential. Yet, it becomes a burden in strained relationships. People are bound to lug it. This is one of the causes of strained relationships and frequent commotion in families.
(1) Keeping Balance is a Task
In this system, one who tries to balance is downed. It is difficult to please everyone at the same time. Dissatisfaction is the obvious fallout which gradually accumulates and explodes, resulting in a self-inhilating pyroclastic flow. The sufferer is the one who tries to adjust. It can be anyone, like the partners in a nuptial bonding or in a family.
(2) Dedication and Commitment are necessary
Take, for instance, a nuclear family of three or four. It will include married couples and siblings. To run successfully, an institution needs dedication and commitment. With a pinch of mutual adjustments and recalibration, it can be smooth. These elements make a happy family sans frequent quarrels. A degree of subordination and acceptance is also required. It helps cement the relationship and achieve peace and a harmonious life. It is, nevertheless, becoming rare. As a result, news portals are flooded with news of domestic autocracy and crime. It leads to frequent breakups and frustration when breakups are not possible.
A Case: Fiction but Real
Once having a long conversation, he shared a story of a family which had frequent verbal fights. The couples were engaged in serious carp and cavil, scathing character assassination and recrimination. Luckily, he was among the few with whom the couple were at ease in conversing. Thus, he had keenly observed the family. His observations were subjective. There were a few serious flaws in the couple’s behaviour.
(a) Observation by a Third Party
The observation was dispassionate. It revealed that the crux lay in the psychological imbalance of the spouse. She was ailing with the so-called obsessive-compulsive disorder. She was unwilling to mend her ways. During their early marriage, it was not intense. Over time, it acquired a gargantuan size, fueled by the leniency of her partner. With time, it became asphyxiating. Gradually, the couple were isolated. The spouse of the lady felt trapped by her irresponsible behaviour. Peace and a harmonious life are a distant thing for them.
(1) Causes and Curative Steps
The problem was taken care of, and medical assistance was also sought. It was later discontinued because of her stubborn attitude. Her spouse was to face the frequent ire on various pretexts. At the top of it all, she developed a controlling attitude. She wanted her spouse to follow her whims. Sense of superiority. Close observation of the childhood past revealed that it was not so good. The suppressed wish hooded after a few years of marriage.
(2) Ordeal or The Spouse
Life doesn’t move according to anyone’s whim. The price had to pay for not obeying the law of nature. The world never waits for anyone. People are not concerned about others’ problems until those problems start affecting their own lives. In the instant case, her partner paid it dearly. He has been a simple person who liked to live with peace and lead a harmonious life.. He was optimistic that soon things would be normal. Unfortunately, he was proved wrong. Despite his best efforts, he failed. He bore the brunt of the fallout. His job was being affected because of the insanity, which reflected in the outside world. Instead of mending the will issue, she kept on cementing it.
(3) Current Scenario
The couple are living alone. She has not mended her ways. Her spouse has since been superannuated. Now his routine has changed. They have cut themselves off from the rest of the world. She occasionally vents out her ire on him on different pretexts. Confined to the walls of his house, he seldom goes out because of her condition. Her physical condition has also deteriorated. Her knees pain, and physically she has become weak, but still she sticks to the tamed will issue. Despite getting criticism from people of every walk of life, she is not ready to mend it.
(B) Was it her fault only?
An honest evaluation demands a two-way narration. Thus, the organic question would be if only she were responsible for the family ordeal. An ostensible situation would certainly not be in favour of her spouse. He was abusive, rude and frustrated because of his situation. It must also be kept in mind that the situation he is in is difficult. It would be improper to judge him on this pretext only. Though the same argument can equally be true for her, too. Yet, the question is, was her behaviour humane? Why did she not control her whimsical attitude and handle the will issue when her spouse was very cooperative? It can also be said that had she been capable of doing it, she would have done it. No one would like to ruin one’s life the way she did. Does it hold water?
The Crux
It is essential to have an amicable way of dealing with things. If one wants respect, others also have the same right. The situation gets convoluted when one tries to impose whimsical things on others. They don’t bother about others’ views and feelings. The individual space is very essential. A proper distance is given to saplings before planting. Likewise, human beings must also be given adequate space and consideration. This creates a congenial atmosphere for proper growth. A plant devoid of light becomes etiolated. Every organism must have important and vital things properly.
Let us make life happier
Humans need to understand that mutual respect, care and love are things that are required by all. Pets enjoy being treated well. They get love and affection. Why should relationships, especially marital ones, be any different? Life is not eternal. Let us build peace by having a harmonious life. Everyone is a guest of honour and has equal rights and privileges. Punishing the delinquent and praising the worthy can make this world more beautiful. The reader’s attention is also solicited to a related article by the author. Please click HERE to view.
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