How did you meet your significant other?
In the following paragraphs, we shall reflect on the journey of life and relationships, emphasising the subjective nature of love and interaction, especially in the context of love and technology. Highlighting how individuals perceive each other through initial impressions, which can change with conversation and connection. We would be exploreing the romantic phase of life and discuss how society’s norms and modern technology shaped interactions and relationships. While romanticism initially drives connection, the demands of life and changing circumstances can complicate relationships. Thus, mutual adjustments and maintaining inner beauty are crucial for lasting bonds. Once the excitement fades, relationships require conscious effort to sustain warmth and understanding.
Table of contents
Key Takeaways
- Life is a journey influenced by subjective perceptions of love and relationships.
- Initial impressions can change through conversation, highlighting the importance of mutual understanding.
- Romantic phases often fade, requiring conscious effort to maintain warmth and connection.
- Modern technology facilitates interaction, but deeper emotional bonds demand more than surface-level attraction.
- The impermanence of romance necessitates practical approaches to sustain relationships over time.
Reason to smile
Life is a story of journey from beginning to end. It is not always rosy, nor does it always barren. People used to take bright side because it suits them and to some extent, give them a reason to smile in utter duress. It is a lone journey where, sitting on a seat, one watches different changing scenario from across the window. In an aeroplane, a flyer is devoid of such pleasure.
Meeting people
On a journey, people meet varied individuals. The strange faces sometimes don’t arouse interest, and by their stolid expression, they appear arrogant and caged. Yet a moment later, the attitude changes. People’s perception changes to good, bad, impressive or dull, as conversation begins and progresses. The perception depends upon how a person takes things. It is subjective and varies according to the nature of the two individuals in the conversation. Generally, people tend to pick up congruent, caring, sympathetic or empathetic thoughts. They like to align with it and enjoy each other’s company.
Subjective choice
The choice of a significant one is totally subjective. Take, for example, our present conversation in this write-up. No two individuals are known to each other, nor have they ever met, but while reading the piece of writing individuals connect each other. Whether the piece appears dull or interesting will depend upon individuals’ liking, disliking or simply indifference. If, nonetheless, the piece appeals, readers may go for other works and try to establish a bond and interact. Mostly, it is occasional. There are a plethora of materials to read; people, those who like spicy stuff do not like plain, realistic ones. They would reject or often ignore them. The subjectivity allows one to choose the best-suited things among the crowd of things, stuff or people. (Psychology Today)
Love and technology: Interaction
A process of establishing a connection between two individuals is interaction. It can be by any means, either by reading a letter, memoirs, features, articles or by personal conversation. The crucial element is interaction. In the modern tech-savvy world, it has gone to the next level and two or a group of several people can connect by a group voice or video call. The distance doesn’t matter; in fact, it has shrunk to a click on a smartphone, tablet or laptop, helping a lot in deciding, not judging, about a person. A few years ago letter writing, which had a fair amount of involvement and romanticism, was the means of communication.
Phase of life in love and technology
Most of us pass through a phase in our life what is called the romantic phase. People want to keep it as a souvenir. It is a biological attraction which, in olden days, was termed infatuation. The world appears to be dancing; things become rosy and appear drenched in what they called it in love.
Half a century ago, it used to be a crime, but defaying odds, people in love used to meet and vow to remain faithful to each other; at the time, it generally could not end up in a permanent relationship. Emotional turmoil used to be the juice of poetry (English/Urdu/Hindi) and fiction writers.
The usual plot of a romantic novel happened to be a poor and preferably orphan male and a female belonging to an affluent family as central characters. The financial disparity, caste barrier and overall social shackles woven into the story to give a strong concoction of emotion, drama, tragedy and ultimately painful separation. The concoction would sell like a hot cake.
Censorship of social norms
The phase gradually faded with time. With the popularisation of films and romantic fiction amalgamated with a change in perspective, the tightness of censorship in social norms began to loosen. A few couples could manage to tie an intercaste nuptial bond.
Emotions letters
It was a time when letter writing became a medium for pouring hearts out to each other. Visiting fancy stationery studios like Archies Gallery, selecting good-quality letter-writing paper, and meticulously writing rosy phrases and sentences were the favourites of many. The best part used to be the wait for a reply. Opening the envelope of reply gave a feeling of unknown ecstasy. Those who lived the moments but could not grow old together remember the time with utmost fondness. The glitter soon passes and time puts its signature on faces and body.
Mutual adjustments
With fast-changing realities and increasing harshness, complications are bound to occur. In a love life, physical attraction is not the only thing that counts. It gives a push, but a lot of effort is necessary to keep a healthy relationship going. The increasing complexities hideously creep in, and things that appeared lovely and romantic become monotonous and disfigured. It is the love, affection, and mutual understanding that keep a relationship cemented together and also act as lubricants helpful in smooth movement. Things need bilateral sacrifice. It must not be unilateral. One-sided adjustment may give rise to shifting goalpost syndrome, which, at times, becomes excruciating.
Love and technology: Keep juice replenished
It is important to keep the vigour, attraction and magnetic personality intact and naturality maintained. There must be a fair degree of transparency in a relationship, but keeping something under wraps is a wise thing. Commotion and tiffs are intrinsic, but managing them with prudence is the core. Things appear ugly when the plating is gone. The sheen and glamour are fleeting and soon wane away. The important is the beauty of the inner self. The ageing partners should keep it in mind and adjust to the situation instead of taunting and commenting on each other. In case of frequent acrimonious tiffs that end up in abuse or mental torture, the relationship needs serious cogitation.
Love, technology and complications
The current era is full of hustle and bustle. Couples are trying hard to sustain and meet both ends. The increasing trench between work and life is putting more strain. The already fragmented family is further fragmenting. Couples are living separately in different locations. It is a great cause of concern for toddlers and growing children in the family. The children are most susceptible, and they get emotional shock, not a good condition.
Romance and reality
Being in a romantic relationship is different from real life. Teenage romance is like a dream where immature couples, attracted to each other by sheer looks, live in an imaginary world. It’s like wandering in a wonderland full of strange things. Away from worries and responsibilities, they want to spend most of the time thinking about each other. Though it is not harmful, it must be in control for a better future. Time slips fast, faster than imagination. It doesn’t give another chance. Opportunities seldom come, but they must not be ignored for romantic fantasy. It is a hard learned lesson.
The vagaries of time can change a significant other into a not-so-significant or insignificant person. The culprits are changed behaviour, ego clashes, and stubbornly putting weight on the partner. It is immaterial that the couple was in love during their romantic phase. It is rather more painful when a romantic couple ends up in an unpalatable condition to a level when relationship becomes a mere tag. The loss of warmth in a relationship causes frequent irreparable damage if not mended or repaired in time.
Priorities in love and technology
The current era is a time of practicality where emotions are though important, but priority is given to viability. The youth are soon getting entangled in convolutions after marriage, even when they are living away from family, in their own cocoons. The imaginary world of romance is short-lived. A flexible attitude and adaptability in approach can solve the problem. It is equally necessary to remember the days of romanticism when they were everything for each other. The other phase of romanticism is separation. It adds a new dimension. Union seems permanent, but is phasic and brings stagnation. Separation, on the other hand, is permanent and lives in the heart, remembering each other forever, provided it was mutual.
Impermanent or stable
The pavonine soap bubble of romance is impermanent. It gives momentary joy and a sense of belonging. Reality-checking it is important and practical for smooth sailing, at least from a relationship viewpoint.
Further reading:
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Kamal Kishore Srivastava
A retired government officer turned writer and photographer, Kamal Kishore Srivastava is a regular blogger and essayist who explores life’s deeper meanings through immersive reflections on nature, impermanence, and happiness. On his blog Nature’s Narrative, he blends philosophical storytelling with practical insights. Writing 1,200–1,500 words or more regularly, Kamal is committed to refining his craft, expanding his audience, and building a sustainable space where thought and feeling intersect.
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