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The content reflects on the significance of solitude and self-reflection through the narrative of a man enjoying a walk in a garden, contrasting the serenity of nature with the chaos of city life. He contemplates ideals in relationships, recognising the impracticality of seeking perfection in partners and embracing individuality instead. The narrative emphasises that self-acceptance and personal preferences are vital, asserting that enjoying one’s own company is a healthy choice. It invites readers to appreciate solitude without judgment, highlighting that everyone has unique needs and experiences, which should be respected as part of the human condition.
Table of contents
Key Takeaways
- The article reflects on the importance of solitude and self-reflection in a man’s life, contrasting nature with city chaos.
- It emphasises self-acceptance and the impracticality of seeking perfection in relationships, promoting individuality.
- The narrative illustrates how enjoying one’s own company fosters personal growth and peace.
- The author reflects on subjective experiences in relationships, highlighting the damage of unrealistic expectations.
- Ultimately, self-reflection is depicted as a normal, healthy choice that should be respected and accepted.
Freedom Amidst Nature
It was a sultry and sunny month of June. The sun’s rays were almost straight and harsh, but the dense, shady overstories of green trees were soothingly cool. The gushing wind made the ambience pleasant. Occasional chirping birds and the psithurism of leaves broke the complete silence. As usual, Nature was at her work. Every element was busy with its work. The primary producers of the living world transform solar radiation into energy, and those dependent on others for their energy requirements collect or arrange for it. Despite the calm, there were hectic activities by many organisms which, to a certain extent, produced noise as they worked at a frequency that human ears are incapable of hearing. Strolling leisurely on promenades in a garden was a real joy, and he was enjoying it while doing parallel self-reflection.
The apparent stillness of the natural environment gives serenity to the surroundings. He lives in a city that has enough verdant patches, apart from shady roadside trees. Meticulously kept parks with promenades, artificial lakes, and patches of flats with grass give ample space for a visitor to enjoy nature, sit peacefully and engage in self-reflection. Home to many animals and birds, gardens and parks are fit places to spend some quality time away from the cacophony of normal city life. These patches act as green lungs, providing fresh air to the city. The natural company of plants and organisms inhabiting them gives immense pleasure and peace. He enjoys conversing with them below the canopy of blue sky.
Hide and seek
The promenade passes through the overstories of dense foliage, with the sun peeping through them, playing hide and seek. The blowing air, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, made them swing to and fro, making the sun look like a playful child. He slowed down his pace to enjoy the dappling play of light. Stopping at a point where the play was frequent, he looked up and smiled at the playful activities of two natural elements: the sun and thick green leaves. The spot was windy. While walking, his clothes became wet with perspiration, which cooled him as they evaporate in easterly winds.
Absolute is utopia
He loves roaming alone. Solitary in nature, he avoids crowds and gatherings and prefers to stay aloof. He often does self-reflection and likes to converse with natural elements like trees and the unseen but omnipresent Supreme Soul. Judgmental people often make fun of him, but he seldom cares. His most bitter critic is his spouse, who wanted to see him as a paragon. He believed that nothing is absolute. Like other humans, he too had merits and flaws; he longed to stay human, learning from mistakes, self-refining, and having amicable relations with everyone. He knew that longing for perfection leads to dissatisfaction and often ends up in frustration. Nothing is absolute except the Supreme Soul: flawless and ideal. When incarnated, even God exhibited human traits and behaved like him. (Psychology Today)
Paragon is a subjective term. Absolutism is a utopia. Searching for the ideal is like living in a fool’s paradise. The strife between good and not-so-good is persistent and eternal. Even Nature was incapable of making a perfect and absolute organism. An organism is a mix of good, bad or neutral forces that derive from nature. It has been defined variously, but still, there is no definite scale of good evolved. A good for one might be bad or not-so-good for others. Water, for example, is good for an aquatic organism. Nonetheless, for a terrestrial one, it is, albeit essential, not as essential as for an aquatic organism. Good or bad is a relative term. A thing is good only when a bad thing is present parallel to it.
Self-reflection: Avoid commotions
The subjectivity is the crux, and those who try to prove themselves as perfect are trying to milk a bull. Most of the domestic verbal fights or tiffs are based on this. The spouse wants their partner to be ideal, which is impractical. Criticising and scathing anyone on this basis is futile and invites avoidable commotion.
Self-reflection: Amicable relationship
Married couples intimately know each other. The frequent conflicts arise from their close proximity. Instead of making adjustments, they try to impose their own will. As a result, the dominant partner prevails while the weaker one feels suppressed, often leading to surrender or feelings of being crushed. Marriage can be viewed as a contract. In some cases, it exists as a formal written agreement that can be easily dissolved, while in others, it is complex and challenging to navigate. The invisible contract safeguards the rights of individuals.
Swayed by his thought process, he did not realise how far he had come. His chain broke with the squeal of children. It was their playground with many swings for them to play on. The happy children were running, swinging, playing and crying with joy. It was nice to behold them. He was also like them once, he thought. While walking, he passed by an ice cream parlour. Contrary to his habit, he felt an urge to have a scoop or two of a creamy ice cream. After a moment’s stagger, he was at its counter, purchasing a big cup of chocolate ice cream. He paid the price online with his smartphone, and holding the cup in his hand, continued sauntering while enjoying the ice cream. He felt happy and enjoyed his own company and self-reflection.
Right partner
For some, this type of human nature may feel unnatural and not good. They may call them solitary, callous and selfish; nonetheless, it would be a lopsided judgement. Commenting on anyone’s personality and trying to impose one’s own will is atrocious. Reconsideration and viewing things from a different perspective can change one’s opinionated thoughts. Sharing doubles the joy, but it is not always true. Searching for the right partner is a daunting task. Physical company is not always necessary. The thought that someone is with us gives strength and courage. This is why humans created God, who is omnipotent and always there. Enjoying alone has no limitation; he enjoys it unburdened.
Why always search for company?
People search for a companion to enjoy “Chāt” (a spicy, crunchy street food) or go to the cinema. They simply do not like taking it up alone. It can be true but is not universal. Solitary people have their own mindset, and their choices are equally important and should not be dismissed.
Spending time with oneself has a deep-rooted cause as well. Besides self-reflection, people who prefer solitude have a deep-rooted issue of unknown origin in their minds. They often avoid social gatherings and interactions. During childhood, the unconscious mind registers a multitude of experiences. A child’s impressionable mind is like an unfired clay pot—any small dent can affect its beauty or utility. Choosing to stay alone and steer clear of crowds can also be a result of personal development. Some individuals even develop agoraphobia, which is an intense and irrational fear of crowds.
In the end
Enjoying one’s own company and spending time alone is perfectly normal. It is a state of mind that allows self-reflection. Solitude can’t be equated or compared with any other trait like loneliness. So long as it does not affect other people, it must not be criticised, nor should it be seen as a downgrade activity. Subjectivity should be recognised as an inseparable part of life and accepted as an eternal truth. Everyone should have their own will and desires and must be free to follow them without anyone’s grudges.
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Kamal Kishore Srivastava
A retired government officer turned writer and photographer, Kamal Kishore Srivastava is a regular blogger and essayist who explores life’s deeper meanings through immersive reflections on nature, impermanence, and happiness. On his blog Nature’s Narrative, he blends philosophical storytelling with practical insights. Writing 1,200–1,500 words or more regularly, Kamal is committed to refining his craft, expanding his audience, and building a sustainable space where thought and feeling intersect.
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