Who do you spend the most time with?
The content reflects on the joys of solitude and self-reflection, depicting a man’s leisurely stroll through a garden, appreciating nature and the complexities of human relationships. He enjoys the serenity and freshness of the natural world, contrasting it with his city life that lacks green spaces. The narrative explores his inner thoughts about perfection in oneself and the impracticality of seeking ideals in partners. It emphasises that individuality and subjectivity are essential, asserting that enjoying one’s own company is a valid and healthy choice. The text underscores acceptance of personal preferences as a significant part of life.
He was strolling leisurely on a promenade in a garden. June is sultry and sunny, but the dense shade of the canopies of green trees was not only pretty cool but pleasant too. As usual, Nature was at her work. Every element of nature was busy with its work. The living organisms transform solar radiation into energy, and those dependent on others for their energy requirements collect or arrange for it. Despite a deep calmness, there seemed to be hectic activities and, to a certain extent, producing noise as they work, at a frequency that human ears are incapable of hearing.
He enjoys the stillness and serenity of the natural environment. He lives in a city that lacks the lush greenery of a forest. Instead, there are green spaces in the form of gardens that act as the city’s lungs, providing fresh air in the city area congested with heavy traffic and noise. The natural company of plants and organisms inhabiting them gives him immense pleasure and peace. He enjoys conversing with them below the canopy of blue sky.
Promenade takes him to spots where trees form a canopy with their dense foliage, with the sun peeping through them, playing hide and seek. The blowing air, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, made them swing to and fro, making the sun look like a playful child. He slowed down his pace to enjoy the play. He stopped at a point where hide and seek was more frequent, looked up and smiled at the playful activities of two natural elements: the sun and thick green leaves. The spot was windy. While walking, his body and clothes were wet with perspiration. The easterly winds were pleasantly soothing.
He loves roaming alone. Usually, his nature was to stay aloof. He likes the company of himself. All the time, he used to converse with himself or with the surrounding elements. People often criticise him for his behaviour and pass judgment on him, but he never seems to care. His most bitter critic is his spouse, who used to pass captious comments and hitting remarks. It appeared she wanted to see him as a paragon. He, though, maintained that he was a human with merits and flaws, and he loved to stay human. He never thought of being an imaginary God who is flawless and ideal. When incarnated, even God exhibited human traits and behaved like him.
Paragon is a subjective term. No one is absolute, and searching for an absolute person is a foolish idea. The strife between good and not-so-good is persistent and eternal. Even Nature was incapable of making a perfect and absolute organism. An organism is a mix of good, bad or neutral forces that derive from nature. It has been tried to define it variously, but still, there is no definite scale of good found. What is good is bad for others. Water is good for an aquatic organism, while for a terrestrial organism, it is essential, but not as essential as aquatic organism.
The subjectivity is the crux, and those who try to prove themselves as a perfect person are idiots who are trying to milk a bull. Most of the domestic verbal fights or tiffs are based on this. The spouse wants their partners as an ideal. Is it a practical idea? Is criticising and scathing anyone on this practical? People have endless arguments, but it is simply futile.
Married couples intimately know each other. The frequent conflicts arise from their close intimacy. Instead of making adjustments, they try to impose their own will. As a result, the dominant partner prevails while the weaker one feels suppressed, often leading to surrender or feelings of being crushed. Marriage can be viewed as a contract. In some cases, it exists as a formal written agreement that can be easily dissolved, while in others, it is complex and challenging to navigate. The invisible contract safeguards the rights of individuals.
He was swayed away with his thought process and did not realise how far he had come. His chain broke by the squeal of children. It was their playground with many swings for them to play on. The happy children were running, swinging, playing and crying with joy. It was nice to behold them. He was also like them once, he thought. While walking, he passed by an ice cream parlour. Opposite to his habit, he felt an urge to eat a creamy ice cream cup. After a moment’s stagger, he was on its counter, purchasing a big cup of chocolate ice cream. After paying the price online and holding the cup in his hand, he moved on to continue sauntering while licking and enjoying the scoops of ice cream. He enjoys his own company and used to spend quality time with himself.
Some can argue this type of human nature on the pretext that it is unnatural. How can a person be so callous and selfish? They say this, but reconsidering their perspective can change their opinionated thoughts. For some, the thoughts of enjoying with someone construe that sharing doubles the joy, but it is not always true. Searching for an ideal partner, as has been discussed above, is a daunting task. If someone is there, s/he can have preoccupations and hence not be available when one needs them for enjoyment. In that case, the plan has to be postponed or cancelled, which would spoil the mood. Enjoying alone has no hindrances. He is enjoying himself because he has no burden.
Some people search for a companion to enjoy “Chāt” (a spicy, crunchy street food) or go to the cinema. They simply do not like taking it up alone. They feel that by doing it, the enjoyment becomes doubled. Well, it can, but our protagonist’s views are equally important and should not be rubbished. He may argue that he can promptly take up a task without worrying about the company and enjoy it right away.
Spending time with oneself has a deep-rooted cause as well. People who prefer solitude have a deep-rooted issue of unknown origin in their minds. They often avoid social gatherings and interactions. During childhood, the unconscious mind registers a multitude of experiences. A child’s impressionable mind is like an unfired clay pot—any small dent can affect its beauty or utility. Choosing to stay alone and steer clear of crowds can also be a result of personal development. Some individuals even develop enochlophobia, which is an intense and irrational fear of crowds.
Enjoying one’s own company and spending time alone is perfectly normal. It is a state of mind and must not be equated or compared with any other trait. So long as it does not affect other people, it must not be criticised, nor should it be seen as a downgrade activity. Subjectivity should be recognised as an inseparable part of life and accepted as an eternal truth. Everyone should have their own will and desires and must be free to follow them without anyone’s grudges.
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