If you had to change your name, what would your new name be?
The narrative explores the struggles of a man who perceives himself as unfortunate, grappling with a strained relationship with his irritable wife, who has psychological issues. Their marriage is characterised by constant quarrels and a lack of communication, causing emotional turmoil for both. While he finds solace in his work, his home is a chaotic environment filled with resentment. The couple’s isolation from neighbours and their son reflects deeper issues within their relationship. Ultimately, the protagonist’s pain and longing for understanding underline a common reality in many troubled families, leaving him contemplating his identity and happiness.
It is the story of an insignificant person who tries to stay aloof. He holds a grudge because he has not received his due. He thinks he is among those Ill-fated people who are ordained to face impediments and don’t get what they want. Is he really unhappy and ill-fated? Contrary to others’ views about him, let us try to understand a little deeper and find out.
He remains aloof, reserved and seldom mixes with people. He hardly attends a gathering even if invited. His wife is a frail woman with a little extra dose of anger and emotion. She has a psychological problem due to which she has become irritable, yelling over petty things that can be adjusted. He works in a private company, holding a decent post and earning more than enough wages to live a decent life. He had managed to own a house. The couple lived in it, creating a world of their own. Both are cut off from neighbours for the reason best known to them. He, because of his nature, and she, because of hers.
Ostensibly self-reliant, both of them seldom go outside. Thanks to online shopping delivery services, items of daily use are delivered to their home when ordered. The house is shabby, dirty, disordered and looks haunted with occasional yelling of both ranting in the air and surroundings. Both are physically satisfied, but their mental state is precarious and agitated. They often engage in acrimonious verbal fights, scathing and abusive, crossing the barriers of decency and discipline.
The office is his respite. It is the place where he spends his moments in peace, busy with his work. Commotion was usual, and now it has become an essential routine. What his neighbour said and opined was not a concern because of her temperamental nature and psychological problems. Everything hides behind these compulsions, and raising a voice against them resulted in severe, abusive verbal fights involving both parties.
A cart needs its wheels in good condition; properly aligned, cleaned, oiled and greased. Improper or careless upkeep of the cart gives a bumpy ride and damages wheels, causing inconvenience and disruption of the journey. Both partners need to see to it. The partners need to be considerate and accommodating. A careful and prudent audience is utterly needed for both partners. It still seems a difficult task in this case. The routine quarrel, followed by a lack of communication, is frequent among them. They, especially she, have highly opinionated views and consider that to be ultimate. The quarrel usually centred around her stubborn attitude, which she doesn’t want to relinquish.
As has been said above, their earning were adequate to lead a decent life. Their only son was not living with them, partly because of his job compulsion and mainly because of the cantankerous attitude of her mother. Our protagonist had become accustomed to all these things. It was a big issue for him to go on an official tour because of her stubborn behaviour resulting from her psychological problem. He used to call her on the phone when he reached the destination, but she deliberately ignored his calls because of her ostensible bad mood.
The above narration is not to malign her image and show her in a bad light. It is for a reference purpose to acquaint the readers to judge their situation and keep track of the things that are about to come. The daily quarrel and imposition of unilateral whims and fantasies were burdening him badly. To add to it, another unwanted difference crept into their lives.
One of her distant nieces was having a strained relationship. The mother of a beautiful and sensible child, she was wading through the difficult phase due to her spouse, who was not only irresponsible but quarrelsome too. He is so careless and involved in other timepass activities, he doesn’t want to work or take care of his family. The girl used to do the job and also do the daily household chores. Due to her affinity with her husband for the reasons best known to her, she used to bitterly criticise her niece, ignoring what she had to say. The pathetic condition persisted. The unnecessary issue was adding his woe without rhyme or reason. The worst part is that she yells unilaterally.
The story narrated above is a usual sight across families. A few of my friends would strongly disagree, but that is what their experience is. It is commonly seen in families, but no one wants to wash their laundry in public. They keep silent and avoid talking about this for fear of being judged and ridiculed. Till the time when families used to be joint, quarrels were quite understandable. The commotion is inevitable when people are in large numbers, but unnecessary quarrels between couples are shocking. There are no other people to ignite the cracker. The problem, thus, lies within.
It is not that he is absolutely innocent. His share in the escalation is fair. He also yells and uses abusive language, but his grade is a little low. Most of the time, it was he who preferred to keep mum after a fairly long quarrel. This, though, does not mellow her, but it helps douse the fire. He is timid and cowardly, but at times, when provoked, he howls foul, which could have been avoided. In the heat of arguments, he sometimes uttered unwanted and uncalled-for statements. It caused him to feel guilty and suppressed. After each heated argument, he tries to pacify her, but fails as she used to snap at him aggressively.
Once asked by one of his colleagues as to what he thought of himself and his life, he timidly answered in a bewildering way. His colleague knew his family situation. Sensing his discomfort, his colleague had changed the topic. Continuing with his conversation, his colleagues asked jokingly if he would like to change his name if given a chance. Which name would he keep as a choice, if his reply is affirmative? “Dukhi Ram”, came the answer immediately. It was because he considered himself “Dukhi” (Sorrowful). Both of them burst into laughter. His colleague clearly saw the wet corners of his eyes behind his laughing face.
Should he give up? He thinks not. He has decided to pull on considering it as his ordained. It is more because of his timid nature, which hinders him from taking hard steps. He also feels helpless in making her understand. He dismally failed.
He hides his pain behind the mask of happiness. The only respite is his dumbness, which helps him forget things. He finds solace in natural surroundings. It is the reason he prefers to stay aloof. Does he need a compassionate and empathetic listener, or should he be left alone and given time to heal himself?
-END-
Leave a Reply