Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
The narrative depicts the life journey of a man who reflects on his childhood, characterized by quietude and slowness in learning due to his modest upbringing. Despite his struggles with societal pressures and his parents’ unfulfilled expectations, he perseveres in education. After graduation, he faced challenges in finding stable employment but managed to adapt and contribute by taking various small jobs. Now an octogenarian, he maintains hope for a brighter future, believing that his efforts will eventually bear fruit. His optimism endures, as he feels that his legacy will speak for itself, inspiring future generations.
It is a long journey that started the day he opened his eyes in this temporal but pavonine world. His mother used to tell him about his behaviour when he was a toddler. His behaviour was not very different from those of other babies of his age, except that he was a comparatively quiet one. His mother used to say how he used to enjoy green fields and moving objects.
Narrating an incident, his mother once laughingly told how he had vanished and was untraceable in the rustic ambience. It was winter, and the rural environment was not so developed. The villages used to be serene, thick green patches of fields and intermittent trees or orchards. The possibility of a conman luring a child and lifting was, though infrequent, couldn’t be ruled out. The family was worried.
Standing beneath a mulberry tree, his mother observed something moving amidst the pea fields. She yelled in joy, and when family members reached her, their worry vanished; they burst into laughter. It was their toddler who had chewed several pea pods in situ. The raw and sweet fresh pea pods were beyond his approach as its sturdy stalks were impossible to pluck.
His infancy was usual. As he grew, things started registering in his brain but he was not quick. He used to take time to comprehend things. At this mature age, he realized late that his reflexes were not sharp and he was a slow mover. He learned what others learned years before. He was incapable of understanding but now he realizes that he was far behind his contemporaries. Nevertheless, the journey was to be completed, so he had to keep on moving and he did.
His slow learning was partially due to his intrinsic behaviour but mainly because of his physical background. His parents were not affluent and couldn’t afford much. They had had no such environment and exposure to give back to him. His days were passing on a straight line, facing odds with a dearth of means and guidance.
When he began to understand things to his advantage, it was too late. He found that the gap in learning between him and his peers had widened to a great degree. Things which should have been clear to him as a child were becoming clear after his teenage years were over and he was in his late twenties.
He thought it was normal, but societal pressure made him foolish. He started feeling about himself in a rather demeaning way. He remained ignorant about things that were needed from a boy of his age.
Sometimes, an incident flashes in his mind when he reflects on his bygones. He, along with his younger brothers and sisters, had gone to visit a place. As his father was preoccupied, he arranged lunch for them. They visited the place, but only one plate was served to them, which was frugal enough to satisfy them all. Ignorant, he couldn’t say anything, and they remained hungry. He was thrashed later when the incident came to the knowledge of their father.
All fingers of a palm are not equal, and so are the siblings of his parents. He grew with his shortcomings; incapable of foreseeing the impending impediments and difficulties. He never tamed ambition because of the reality that it was a luxury and he wasn’t capable of thinking about it. Nonetheless, there was an undercurrent of wish to be heard running in his psyche. How and when was unknown and is still obscured. His parents, especially his irascible father wanted him to be a known person who make his father prominent. They did not or better to say, couldn’t give him the environment nor the prerequisites. They were probably not on the wrong side, but it made him timid and a terrified person, hesitant to take risks or choose a direction.
He has had no goal nor any ambition but has continued studying. Questions like why was he studying and what he wanted to be in future were not his concerns. The situation at home was pressing. Things are usually difficult, and pressure waves are intense for the persons holding frontline positions. Those who have a trail of siblings behind them act as a cushion for the rest of them. Such individuals face the greatest brunt of crushing pressure that minimizes as it reaches their siblings. He was not an exception.
After graduation, he started searching for petty jobs that would fulfil his requirements but failed. The job was a difficult thing to get, especially for a person like him who was wet behind the ears. He had no choice, and despite the odds, he tried to finish his post-graduation. Betwixt typical adversities, commotion, and severe distractions, he managed to clear his post-graduation. A large demon of an uncertain future with wide-open jaws was standing before him.
Puzzled-headed and indecisive he was passing through a tough phase of his life. In the meantime, he got a petty job on a daily wage basis. He accepted it, for it gave him a patch of dry land to stand. The job was temporary and lasted for two months, but it gave some money, though insufficient for sustainability. He started taking tuitions, but the meagre money was not enough, and he had to take several tuitions. Most of his time, thus, was wasted and consumed in unproductive work that added nothing to his portfolio.
After a long and strenuous wading, he managed to catch the last carriage of the train that had almost left the station. Comfortably sitting on a seat he was now ready to continue his journey. Until now, it was a staggering and hitch hocking but now a smooth travel was in sight. Though he was not satisfied, he compromised with the situation. His position was like a young bull who, when put on yolk for the first time, shows strong resentment but finally steps down before the inevitable.
While on the job, he was free from petty worries of daily sustenance. The desires that were buried till now had started rearing their heads. To fulfil them, he tried several ways, but destiny had something different. Ultimately, he settled and threw himself completely in the swimming pool to gain first-hand knowledge about the basics of life by himself. Now when he had a regular income, vultures started hovering and pinching him. His family started expecting much more than his capacity. Incapable of meeting their expectations, they used to verbally scathe him. It was more than enough; he became emotionally callous and indifferent.
Now an octogenarian, he still has not left hope. He feels that one day the overcast sky will be cleared and the sun will shine. He knows that his life was listless, without any thrill. He had seen the tough times before and after the regular job. He had even tougher time managing things and creating infrastructure for a better future, but did he succeeded?
Telling his story, once he told his colleagues that he would continue with his efforts and wouldn’t leave hope. Maybe, one day, he wouldn’t be able to see the morning sun, but he would say adieu to this world with hope; though not satisfied that he couldn’t get what he deserved.
Asked how he sees his future in the coming decade, he smiled brightly and said that he was optimistic, as always. Expressing his confidence, he had said that what he was doing would one day be fruitful. Adding further with oozing confidence he said that even death can’t overpower him till he achieved his deserved position. “In eventuality, if I am gone, my deeds shall speak loudly and connect me to the future generation,” he had said concluding his conversation.
As his friend and well-wisher, I sincerely wish him good luck and pray to the Almighty to show him the way to achieve his desires.
So be it!
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