What have you been putting off doing? Why?
The post narrates a man’s journey to self-discovery after retirement. It highlights his feelings of isolation and the criticism from his ailing spouse. He also experiences societal neglect. He perceives himself as a puppet, criticised by peers while yearning for genuine connections. His days lack routine and purpose, leading to a sense of stagnation. Despite these challenges, he finds solace in writing, which allows him to express his passions and dreams. Emphasising the importance of resilience and maintaining inner fire, he remains hopeful for change and continues to pursue meaningful endeavours, underscoring the significance of self-awareness and personal growth in the face of adversity
Table of contents
Key Takeaways
- The article depicts a man’s journey to self-discovery post-retirement, highlighting his feelings of loss and societal indifference.
- He perceives himself as a puppet, critiqued by his spouse and overlooked by peers, prompting his desire for genuine connection.
- Despite challenges, he uses writing as an outlet to express his passions and stay hopeful for change.
- The narrative emphasizes the importance of inner resilience and the quest for meaningful endeavors.
- Ultimately, the journey to self-discovery reflects his commitment to keep his passions alive against life’s harsh realities.
Waking up Early in the Morning
As usual, his day started at a normal pace. Contrary to his usual time, he woke up late in the morning. Usually, he is an early riser and wakes up early in the morning. His routine seldom changes even when he goes to bed late at night. His night sleep starts at about 1:30 AM, or sometimes, even later.
Good for Nothing?
He doesn’t have a fixed routine. In fact, he has nothing to do. Like other peers who boast about themselves and their “achievements”, he keeps low. His ailing spouse yells at him for anything and everything. For her, he was a useless person, good for nothing. Most of the spouses, if not all, do the same. It is their way to show love and concern for their partners.
Superannuation and After
After superannuation, his life came to a grinding halt. At least others think it so, and try to remind him about his situation. What was he doing to pass his time? They used to muse and murmur. He was their pastime. Occasionally, murmuring came to him, and he would become restless. Later, he stopped reacting to their “concern”. He had started a new journey. It was a journey to self-discovery.
His spouse is his bitter critique. She never expressed her liking for him. Ostensibly, she appears to have not seen any worthwhile qualities in him and used to carp and cavil. Nonetheless, she knew his strengths and weaknesses. At the gravid stage of his life, he wanted peace with what was available to him. He had enough to sustain two persons, and he had no grudges about having less. Yet, probably some other thing might be in the offing for him. Who knows?
The Puppet
No one visits him, nor does he visit anyone. It is rightly said that man proposes and god disposes. One doesn’t have any power. Puppet dances, not because of its own. It dances because someone else is pulling and releasing its strings at will. Puppet is ordained to dance. It’s stashed when its role is over.
He, like everyone, is also a puppet. Irrespective of their disposition and thought process, people dance to the tune set by the all-powerful but invisible force. They believe they are super and can tame mendacious opinions. Still, at the end of the day, they end up empty-handed. Like an artificial bouquet, the hollow claim is lifeless, created by mortal ones, uncertain about the future.
Simple Man
Like an ordinary, simple man, he organically never tamed anything high. It must not be construed that he was not thinking about his emancipation. Since childhood, he was taught not to boast about himself. It has become a part of his psyche. He may look timid, but there is a fire within providing him with vigour. Always trying to express himself, he wants to be noticed, not in the way loquacious, gaudy people do. He wants genuine, true-to-the-soil people to come together and collectively raise their voices against what they do not consider right.
He didn’t tame a feeling of possessiveness, realising that everything, including relationships and emotions, can change sides. The nature of things is fleeting. Like dry sand that does not stay in a closed fist, things slip off swiftly. There is, thus, no question of putting off anything. When asked about it, he feels perplexed for a simple reason: he hasn’t had anything. What does a person expect from such an individual who doesn’t have anything of his own, and why?
Minimalist
He does everything that is minimally needed to keep himself fit. Generally skipping meals after an angry brawl, he noticed that people didn’t give a damn. People have no time to bother. They did what suited them, without caring for others’ emotions. He stopped the anger fasting. People try to change others according to their whims, but they do not want to mend their ways. Ailing with “I-am-always-right” syndrome, they consider it their prerogative. The haughty people abuse, scathe, and be demagogues but expect others to behave properly.
Imposing behaviour
Happy are those who vent out their feelings without respecting others’ sentiments. They set out their likes and dislikes, not bothering about what others are to say. People having such qualities know how to get respect, and they stick to it. They don’t like others to deviate from the rules set out by them. It becomes all the more important when they are financially or position-wise superior.
He faced it many times. A family is known for its all-inclusive nature, but he got no proper treatment. He was always kept alienated and treated as a second-class member without any privileges. At times, he feels fed up with all the gaudy show business in the family itself. Not able to pull it on, he left. They tried to prove him wrong, but then, he had decided. A string can’t be stretched beyond its limit. It ultimately breaks and hurts, sometimes inimically.
(a) Support is needed
People are defeated when quislings are in play. Battle can only be fought and won with dedicated and loyal soldiers. It becomes very difficult for a person to wade through hot water without help. Overexpectations and cupidity result in fake relationships where people are linked because of their parochial motives. It changes an emotional person, but then s/he are tagged and judged by them. It is the vicious cycle.
(b) Poured out his heart
Once, he poured out his heart. His eyes were brimming, and his heart was full of emotions. He was blessed with big and beautiful expressive eyes. They express his hidden feelings even though his lips and tongue do not. As has been said earlier, his wish was to have a peaceful senescence. Why he was not getting it was beyond his comprehension. He kept cogitating about his journey to self discovery.
While in conversation, he once held responsible his gullible nature. He used to sway with emotional drain. People used to derive advantage from it. They would show concocted and fabricated facts laced with emotion. Incapable of seeing the other side of the coin, he usually behaved lopsidedly. Later, he realised his weakness and tried to overcome it. He is yet to overcome it completely.
Smart Simplicity
The world is harsh to simple and straightforward people. As Chanakya has said, oversimplified persons are a big failure. Citing an example, he had said that a straight tree is felled first in a jungle. People must entertain their ideas with some measure of doubt. The world, especially people, is not as simple as it seems. There is always a dark side. It is an eternal truth that righteousness prevails only where there is deceit and treachery. It is the negatives which underline the worth of positivity and decency.
Every night is followed by a day break. He realises it, but at the stage he is in, time is a constraint. He is left with limited time. The only consolation is his hope. He is still optimistic that the dawn will break. The gloom and miasma would disperse. The sun will shine brightly.
Journey to Self-Discovery
While on the journey to self-discovery, he thought about various aspects of life. He narrated his story and tried to decipher the complexities and intricacies of life. Nothing comes free. Good things can be earned by hard work. With this in mind, he continues fuelling his passion and does what is close to his heart. One of those is writing, which he is now using to tell his story. He affirms his resolve not to let loose his passion and shall keep the fire burning in him. So, he doesn’t have anything to put off.
Did the story resonate with you? Please do comment and give your views. Please share your stories. Tell what you feel about it. The dissemination of thoughts will help the process of oxygenation and enrichment.
Further read:
“The Pursuit of Inner Peace: A Journey of Hope and Happiness”.
“A Letter to My 100 Year-Old Self: Reflection And Wisdom”
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