Who would you like to talk to soon?
The post discusses the nature of social interactions, particularly between introverted individuals and society’s judgments. It emphasizes that introverts may be misinterpreted as arrogant or antisocial when they are simply absorbed in their thoughts. Conversations should be meaningful, fostering deep connections rather than superficial chatter. The piece also highlights the importance of offering genuine support to those in need, advocating for empathy and understanding rather than quick judgments. By focusing on meaningful exchanges and the significance of introspection, individuals can navigate social dynamics and give authentic assistance to others.
He is an introvert, quiet, and a majorly isolated person, lost in his own world. People label him with many adjectives. Some judge him as “airy” and “arrogant,” while some termed him a fool who usually doesn’t want to mingle with people.
Both conditions are right individually from their own viewpoint. People behave according to the norms of society. They jump to conclusions without considering others’ views or situations. They pass lurid comments, make jokes about people and express opinionated feelings about the one who is not there among them to defend.
People like herd mentality. They are startled when face the slightest variation and become unreasonably defensive. It is a “normal” behaviour for them; they become uncomfortable even when a slight deviation is seen. They ludicrously talk about such persons and try to extract enjoyment by talking about lip-smacking, exaggerated things that can satiate their captious pangs. It is not new; it was there in the past and will stay in future, too.
Isolated persons often don’t talk not because they are arrogant but because they are self-absorbed in their thoughts. They are different because they don’t have time to gossip about unproductive things. They intend to go “miles before they sleep”. No one can satisfy all, even after their best efforts. It is human tendency to scathe even the best of things, just because it doesn’t fall in line with them. Lord Ram was questioned, Lord Krishna was cursed, Buddha was cursed and even abused. Many great souls faced the ire, but they were not deterred and kept doing what they believed to be correct. Whenever they heeded the voice of diverse masses, they couldn’t deliver and inflicted intense pain on themselves.
Talking and conversing are different. One can talk to many but converse with none. The conversation is not superficial. It delves deep and comes out with precious pearls. It is the outpouring that comes straight from the heart. So, a talkative one is considered superficial who can’t hold back things that are unnecessary and don’t need to be mentioned. It sometimes proves beneficial as well.
Bhagat Singh, Rajguru and Sukhdev were hanged to death on the gallows on 23 March 1931, a day before their ordained date. Keeping in mind the mounting public pressure, the jail authorities cremated their bodies in Hussainiwala. It remained shrouded till a drunkard, garrulous constable was overheard boasting about the incident. It, nevertheless, is not a rule and isn’t considered a good habit.
So, talking or, better still, loose talking is not only bad and unfounded, but also derogatory and somewhat cannibalistic too. Conversation is a process that involves the mind, consciousness and soul that work in unison. It is the result of a concerted effort. The question is, whom to converse with and whom to talk to and why.
Answering it is not that difficult. When in a company of light-hearted people, one needs to talk, but while talking, one needs to be conscious. At times, it becomes difficult; a serious person chooses to keep quiet instead of making an unfounded comment for the sake of talking and boasting about one’s ability.
Conversation is an essential part of expression. Choosing a proper audience is the key. Judicious or pensive people often stay aloof and involved in their thoughts, self-study and watching people. One need not search for the appropriate person to converse with. It is organic, which picks up feelings and automatically connects people. In the absence of it, self-conversation or monologue is the way. It also allows for a dispassionate introspection. Such people do not flog the dead horse, nor do they try to bring life to a dead horse. Both situations are futile and unfruitful.
People sometimes need to converse urgently. They run to confide. Habitually, they converse with people who can empathise and heal them. People go to anyone like a mother, sister, a good friend, or someone they think is proper. They usually remember the Almighty and seek solace as a last resort if they find none.
Connecting to the Almighty requires no special training, qualification or guidance from a “Guru” or teacher. Buddha says, “Appa Deepo Bhavah”, be your light yourself. In modern parlance, it is a message that, when sent on the right frequency, instantly reaches the unseen but omnipotent force that responds quickly.
In Sanatan tradition, it is said that a frantic and desperate hearty call is heard by the God who comes rushing to help the seeker. A parable explains it well. A crocodile caught hold of the leg of an elephant bathing in a water body. Yelling and reeling with excruciating pain, the elephant beseeches help from Narayan, the nourisher and saviour. Hearing the distress call of the elephant, Narayan came rushing to save the elephant. He severed the head of the crocodile with His divine discus (Sudarshan Chakra) and thus saved the wailing elephant, which copiously thanked him and lay prostrate. The story is inscribed as a sculpture on the stone slab affixed on one side of a famous temple belonging to the Gupta period in Deogarh (Lalitpur, U.P., India). The temple is well known “Dashavataar” temple.
In emergent conditions, people need help. This can be any accidental condition or necessity that arises due to the non-availability of immediate help or conditions that need immediate care and protection, like a road mishap or accident. It is heartening that people are ready to help the needy or victims of unforeseen situations. Some hoodwinkers, nevertheless, exploit the sentiment of such innocent people. They malign the overall humanity and inculcate a sense of suspicion in ordinary persons.
The growing unrest and mad rat race for the acquisition of material wealth are causing mental unrest and desperation. The cutthroat, unholy vying for more is the cause of an agitated mental state and requires people to go for solace and seek company to vent out their frustration. Beelining for spiritual calmness and mental peace, they find it convenient to go for mushrooming “Satsang”. A mindless rat race starts where people are seen doing any damn thing which their “Guru” says. It is the emotional trap which engages the soul. The honey trap lures people, extracts, sucks and leaves them in the lurch.
People seeking a genuine company to vent out like a child and wash out their ills are mentally unstable. They are not in a situation to apply prudence to “select” the right person. In such a situation, the vicinity of Mother Nature heals quite well.
People often start giving sermons on various things and morality when a needy person approaches them for suggestions and guidance. It sometimes backfires and instigates mental trauma in the person who has approached for a little bit of consolation. While dealing with a person in need, one needs to be considerate and polite and capable of assessing the genuine nature of the problem. A wounded person first needs immediate care and a bandage. Other things follow later. When suggesting help, it is important to consider the individual’s nature and their willingness to seek assistance. He should be given a sympathetic audience, even if the person is emotionally charged or speaks oddly. A patient hearing mellows down the person. This solution addresses the main aspect of the problem. Besides giving a sympathetic hearing, the problem needs to be understood, and an appropriate solution is suggested to sort it out. That will help the person a great deal.
People approach a person if they feel secure, safe and confident. One who approaches someone for a dialogue knows the calibre and ability of the person. Giving a polite audience increases love, affection, and respect in the eyes of the seeker. On the same coin, if a person approaches with a vicious intention, he ought to be treated sternly and curtly. He needs to realise that cursive talk or tangential scathing are not permissible. This way, one can save from the impending fraud or harm. For this, one has to be stiff enough to say no to such a person.
Readers may also like to visit the related writing piece by the same author, “Recognising Red Flags: Traits to Watch out for”
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