What relationships have a positive impact on you?
The text examines the intricacies of relationships, highlighting the distinction between selfless and selfish dynamics. It discusses how relationships can positively or negatively affect individuals, referencing cultural, scientific, and evolutionary perspectives. The narrative emphasises the need for interdependence within families and society while acknowledging the coexistence of positive and negative traits in human interactions. Illustrating with examples, such as the poet Tulsi Das, it delves into human connections and their evolution over time, culminating in the idea that true relationships thrive on mutual support and acceptance, rather than the pursuit of idealised moral standards.
Table of contents
Key Takeaways
- The article explores the complexities of human relationships through selfless and selfish dynamics, highlighted by Bollywood songs.
- It contrasts positive and negative emotions that impact relationships, emphasizing the necessity of interdependence.
- The poet Tulsi Das’s experience illustrates the deep emotional effects of imbalanced relationships.
- With evolution, human relationships have become more convoluted, often leading to selfishness and ego.
- Acceptance of both positive and negative traits in relationships proves essential for harmony and understanding.
“Love at first sight”
In its initial stage, it begins as an infatuation, termed in rosy language “Love at First Sight”. It gradually grows till its crescendo when both wish to grow old together, sharing an intense bond of love. Lovebirds express concern about each other’s problems and difficulties. It is depicted in various works of fiction. It has been the favourable plot of rosy films with romantic love stories and happy endings. Popular, easy-to-grasp, light literature used to be popular among the youth of yesteryears. Most romantic films revolved around the love-hate and conspiracy triangle. With a few popular songs, dance sequences, emotional dialogues and the end. Besides entertaining people, these media ease out emotions too.
Contrasting relationship
In juxtaposition, there are negative emotions that adversely affect mutual relationships. It includes haughty and atrocious nature, inflated ego, and mendacity. Promises, love, and loyalty that are the backbone of a strong relationship are reduced to hollow words with no weight. Self-centred relationships with parochial motives are becoming more frequent overpowering selfless and blissful companionship. Cheating and backstabbing, playing with emotions are gaining ground.
Intrinsic relationship
The relationship is intrinsic to living world. These are the two extreme types of relationships. One is selfless and platonic, while the other is romantic and selfish. Be it positive or negative, selfish or selfless the relationships are demanding. One likes it or not, it leaves an impression sometimes a deep scar that changes the life.
Poet Tulsi Das
It is said that the great poet Tulsi Das loved his wife very much and wanted to be close to her. Once she scolded him in sarcasm, which hit the poet badly. He left home to become a saint. Later, he wrote the epic Ramcharitmanas. It is a unilateral relationship, in which emotions are lopsided in favour of one partner, who receives meagre return. The shock Tulsi Das received proved life-changing.
A relationship is a type of interaction people or objects share. An interdependence is a type of relationship where each partner shares something or the other.
Relationship
A relationship is a type of interaction that people or objects share. An interdependence is a type of relationship where each partner shares something with the other. In the scientific world, this give and take is unique. Let us elaborate. (Psychology Today)
Relationship in an atom
An atom has electrons and a nucleus. The nucleus contains Neutron and Proton. The electrons spin around the nucleus. For stability, an atom needs to have either two or eight electrons in its outermost orbit. If the electrons are less, the atom has a tendency to accept them from other atoms. If their number is beyond eight, they transfer them to another atom so that both the donor and receiver have the required number of eight or two electrons.
A bond establishes
The requirements are fulfilled either by transferring or sharing the electrons. The aim of telling this story is to explain the process of establishing a relationship, which is a bond. The sharing of electrons among atoms establishes a strong bond. A relationship is also established by the quid pro quo bond.
Relationship: Interdependence
It’s an oft-repeated fact that the Natural world is interdependent. No one is self-sufficient in the sense that each one of us is dependent on the other. As we saw in the example above, at the atomic level, mutual need is seen. Though there are elements that are self-sufficient, they are inert. The same is true in the living world as well. Taking care of oneself is intrinsic, but to look after every aspect, one has to have a relationship in some form or the other.
Coordination and sharing
During the initial days of human evolution, cave-dwelling humans used to hunt collectively big animals and satiate their hunger by sharing the kill. The joint efforts must have led them to realise the importance of coordination and shared efforts. This was also a relationship.
Convolution in relationship
With the advancement of time, as humans evolved, their behaviour gradually became complex with the development of emotions. Feelings of mine and thine started creeping in, leading to progressively more convolution in human relationships. With an increasing degree of feelings of different kinds, the already existing relationship between humans and other organisms started gaining ground. The intensity of them all was selfishness.
Society and social order
To cater for the human demand for security, care, support and compassion, higher groups of animals like mammals, including humans, developed a highly organised system. They named it Society and, to run it smoothly, established an order named Social Order. We see an organised society in Primates like the orangutan, the chimpanzee, and the gorilla, et cetera. Parental care is seen in many lower animals, too.
Family
Being the basic unit of society, the family occupies the primary and most important place. People tend to attach great importance to their family, which in modern-day parlance has shrunk to the level of a “Nuclear” family. It comprises of husband, wife and one or two children (sometimes more).
Modern humans
The materialistic bent of mind, consumerism and pressing social pressures lead individuals to earn more. The earlier social division of labour has been shattered, and because of false ego, it has been looked down upon. The self has insidiously crept into the filial relationship. Children often look more upon their comfort and ambition than other obligations. It is, nonetheless, not to be lamented. It is an evolutionary process which is inevitable. The negative traits, like that of selfishness, are also not new. It is modern humans who are trying to amplify and make it larger than life-size.
Sharing
The feeling that someone is with us gives us strength to sustain the odds of time, pain and sorrow. If the sharing decreases sorrow and pain, it increases happiness and joy. Sharing is possible in a closed group like family and friends. Relatives often do not come in close groups. It is a distant extended family which often not considered a group of confides.
Social responsibility
Barring the person who leaves worldly affairs to become an ascetic, society and family affect people. In ancient India, social responsibility and humanitarian causes were of utmost importance. The famous Monk rebellion from 1763 to 1800 AD speaks volumes about the social responsibilities and individual duties. It is above personal relationships, which often turn into sheer selfishness. Immunity against it is, thus, difficult to acquire, if not impossible. While someone in the family may feel offended because of others’ behaviour, on the same token, others understand the plight. They try to pacify both sides. It becomes difficult when a dominant member tries to thrust their whim on the other members.
Acceptance in relationship
Searching for an absolute good or bad is simply impossible and imaginary. Acceptance is the optimum solution. Instead of searching for an ideal, accepting a person as such, with all good and bad, is not only practical but is also congruent with humanity. It is equally difficult to distinguish individuals within a family based on their impact. The role of elder brother or elder sister is like a guide. Choosing between father and mother is sometimes very difficult, but sometimes it seems very easy. The judgment is based on the ostensible perception. It has become a vogue to tag one as positively impactful over the other. This practice demeans the importance of another member, which should not be encouraged.
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Kamal Kishore Srivastava
A retired government officer turned writer and photographer, Kamal Kishore Srivastava is a regular blogger and essayist who explores life’s deeper meanings through immersive reflections on nature, impermanence, and happiness. On his blog Nature’s Narrative, he blends philosophical storytelling with practical insights. Writing 1,200–1,500 words or more regularly, Kamal is committed to refining his craft, expanding his audience, and building a sustainable space where thought and feeling intersect.
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